Little boys underpants

It’s not even funny how tight it’s getting at the top. It’s really tight. Super tight. What’s a good analogy for that? “Little boy’s underpants” according to Sam who delivers my newspapers. Thanks Sam. That might be the wrong analogy. Quality performances from the slippers, kick it and the tarts really shook up the top of A Liga this weekend. Just look at that table – we’ve now only a measly 5.5 points separating the top five…

“Fantasy player of the week” is anyone’s guess - with the rooney, the drogba and the pav all bagging a brace each. Berba did grab himself a goal, an assist, 90 minutes and some winning points last night, but nobody likes Berbatov so I’d probably give it to Kevin “Mr Potato head” Davies instead. The wolverines’ Potato managed exactly the same as Dimitar (clocking up a penalty, an assist and more winning points) but he did it for a pretty rubbish club and without being a slippery bulgarian weasel. Good job.

Hardwick’s little Russians came up trumps again this week, with goals from the reborn Pav and Andrey “the owl” Arshavin. Andrey is rapidly becoming my favourite player of all time. Not so much for his football, but for the amazing Q&A section on the official Andrey Arshavin website. This week’s update sees Andrey answer all of the important questions, including:

Q.
Hi, Andrey, in what order would you place the following animals: a tiger, a cow, a pig, a horse, a sheep?

Arshavin:
A pig - it will always get the last place! A tiger, a cow, a horse, a sheep. And I’ll repeat that a pig is always the last one, because it is a pig.

Q.
Hi. I am 25 years old and I’m still not married. My parents are very upset about this. They say I can end up a spinster. But I don’t want to get married yet. What shall I do? (Sorry if this is off topic; just want to know your opinion)

Arshavin:
I think I can help you.Step 1: You need to find a scruffy heavy drinker.Step 2: Once you’ve found him, try to persuade him to “marry” you. I think that for a small amount of money, he will agree to fulfill the role of your fiancé :)Final: Bring this guy home. Tell your parents he’ll live with you ;)I think next time they will think better before forcing their opinion on you.

Read more at www.arshavin.eu/en/news.php?id=517. Genius.

With just 2 months left, now’s the time to really pay attention to those Remaining Starts By Position. For those sagacious squirrels amongst us, there’s nothing to worry about. But the recklessness of those who didn’t plan ahead may well be their undoing come May. Remember, once you run out- that’s it. So if, like me, you’ve only 5 CM spots left with 8 matches to go, you can be forgiven for feeling a little jumpy. Could this turn the league into some sort of WWF style survivor series? Only time will tell.